Coming Out of the Closet

It's no secret to people who know me, that I have struggled with manic depression - aka bipolar disorder for years. It's something that has typically not affected me so I can't work, though I've had three hospitalizations as an adult that related to this. Blog critics such as Swiftee know this. They try to use this issue whenever they can to try to discredit me. Here's the latest example on the thread on Mitch's blog when Berg lays down the law:

Swiftee writes:

...Er, excuse my intrusion, but I think it's pertinent to know that Eva maaaay have been skipping a few of her bi-polar meds. lately.

No, really.
Posted by swiftee at June 3, 2005 01:13 AM

I worked at my current position for 5 years before I told my boss about having bipolar disorder. I had been concerned about disclosing this to my boss, because I didn't want it to make him respect me less. It turned out, I didn't need to worry about that. The issue of "coming out" about having manic depression has always been more of a challenge for me personally than being gay. I've lived in the twin cities for years, and being gay in Minneapolis isn't a big deal. The manic depression issue was different for me. It was a struggle for me to acknowledge that this wasn't an issue of not having enough discipline over my mind, and that this is a biochemical imbalance. I also was concerned about the effect of this on my career. The last thing I wanted was to be on disability, and to lose my autonomy. I've worked in group homes with a clientele who have serious and persistant mental illnesses - both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I am thankfully not affected that strongly with this. I have friends who are my age who are currently living on disability because the manic depression is so severe it prevents them from working.

I know other professional people who have bipolar disorder, and they also tend to keep quiet about this for the same reasons that I do. Many of us want to be judged by the content of our character, and the quality of our work.

Swiftee's comment was petty and cowardly. It's not the first time he's mentioned the bipolar disorder - and won't be the last I'm sure. It will be interesting to see how other MOB Bloggers react to it.