Jesus General on Embryonic American Rights
Family Research Council
Dear Mr. Perkins,
Thanks for the email about Our Leader's love for snowflake Embryo-Americans. The timing was eerie. I received it just moments after I had read the transcript of a White House gaggle where the Minister of Truth answered questions about the same thing.
One of the things I learned from the gaggle is that there are 400,000 to 500,000 frozen Embryo Americans available for adoption. That's a heck of a lot of snowflakes. It's going to be hard to find families for them all.
I'm sure that you've already adopted a passel of them. I adopted one, but little Buford was called back to the Lord in less than a week. I didn't know that you should wait a few years before you try to play catch with them.
I think that one of the reasons people are so reticent to adopt these tiny citizens is because they're not very cute. It's hard to bond with a blob of protoplasm. We need to do something about that if we're serious about finding families for them.
Years back the Ladies Against Women used to do stand up comedy about the Rights of the Unconceived. A woman with a falsetto voice would talk about all these poor little innocent sperms being washed down shower drains, or murdered with "chemical warfare" or by being put in "little rubber concentration camps."